After two months of commuting for 50 to 60 minutes a day, I have developed some definite preferences regarding 1/24th of my life. These are the rules of common courtesy I believe ALL CTA riders should abide by. Do not be shocked if these rules become longer... possibly much longer. However, I will not direct my anger towards this blog. Just my sarcasm.
Rule #1: If you have a bubble, you should probably leave it at the bus stop or train station in which you board the train.
Rule #267: If you want my spot on the crowded train, you should probably not try to shove me back in. Let me off and you can then get on.
Rule #310: The train conductor sticks his or her head out of the train for a reason--they're not going to leave you... they actually SEE your ass trying to get on!
Rule #891: The train is my quiet, mostly peaceful place and I would like it to stay that way--please text your friend or call them when you aren't on the noisy train. Shut. The. Hell. Up.
Rule #243: Cubs games are great for those attending, but for those of us who just got off work, this place is serious business. Don't drag your drunk tail on the train, or I will laugh at you. Whether or not I can contain it is at my discretion.
Rule #428: Grocery carts, strollers, double strollers, triples strollers, and other things that don't fold up = not train-friendly. Take a damn cab.
Rule #159: When a train goes "Express", it will look like a fire alarm. Crazed eyes and beelines towards the exits are indicators of such a circumstance. Please do NOT freak out. It is only an express train.
Rule #84: If you're looking to sit every other seat, the CTA is SO NOT the place for you. This is another instance in which you should take a cab.
Rule #995: When you're new to the CTA, staring at the maps in the train will not make it tell you all its secrets or notify you when the train reaches your stop. This means you should learn the stop or two before yours so you don't have to freak out and slam your hand between the doors in a futile attempt to escape the train. I judge thee. (Looking for informational purposes is acceptable, but please don't burn a hole in the durn thing... other people need it, too.)
Rule #17: When you are waiting for the bus or entering the CTA station for a train, you KNOW you're going to need your CTA card. Find that crap BEFORE you block the bus door or the turnstile. I contemplate saying "Excuse me. You're clearly not prepared" and pushing past you.
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